Morning Smile

This morning smile is from one of my favourite sites Yes I like Cats (Facebook).  I have some really amazing smiles for all of you today to help inspire, heal and maybe just make you smile.  How can you have a bad day if you start with caffeine and a Great smile?  We can’t choose what happens to us each day but we can control how we react.  I hope my daily dose of happiness helps you  have a positive start to your day.  I hope you love these as much I do sharing them with you.  My smiles today come from some really amazing sites Can U Still Hear Me?, Maxine, The Secret to humour is surprise, It’s so Dumb and Stupid-It’s Funny, Fun Zone, Bringing Humour to your day with Love, Yes I like Cats, Laugh it’s Free, Jokes, Funny, laughs and Quotes, Truly Tasteles jokes, Knowledge is Power and Cherry Cola (Facebook).  Hope these put a smile on your lips and your heart.

Animals are so Amazing they love us unconditionally and no matter how bad your day is they have the ability to boost our happiness with just a look. 

Key to a Happy Marriage

A couple never fought in 25 years. A friend asked: how did you make it possible? Husband: we went to Paris for our honeymoon,while horse riding my wife’s horse jumped and she fell down. She got up and patted the horse’s back and said ‘this is your 1st time’.. After a while it happened again and my wife said this your 2nd time , when it happened 3rd time, my wife took out the gun and shot the horse..! I shouted: You PSYCHO you killed the horse. She gave me a grave look and said this is your 1st time! And since then we have never fought…

What’s the expression the arcorn doesn’t fall far from the tree?  Some times the squirrel picks it up and heaves it half way down the block!  It’s surprising I don’t drink………..

Dark in Here 

A woman takes a lover home during the day, while her husband is at work.

Unbeknownst to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet.

Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she puts the lover in the closet with the little boy.

The little boy says, “Dark in here.”

The man says, “Yes it is.”

Boy- “I have a baseball.”

Man- “That’s nice.”

Boy- “Want to buy it?”

Man- “No, thanks.” …

Boy- “My dad’s outside.”

Man- “OK, how much?”

Boy- “$250.”

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom’s lover are in the closet together.

Boy- “Dark in here.”

Man- “Yes, it is.”

Boy- “I have a baseball glove.”

The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, “How much?”

Boy- “$750.” Man- “Fine.”

A few days later, the father says to the boy, “Grab your glove. Let’s go outside and toss the baseball back and forth.”

The boy says, “I can’t. I sold them.”

The father asks, “How much did you sell them for?”

The son says “$1,000.”

The father says, “That’s terrible to overcharge your friends like that.

That is way more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess.”

They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, “Dark in here.”

The priest says, “Don’t start that sh*t again.”:)

 

 Job Interview

I went for a job interview today and the boss asked me Why did you leave your last job. 

I said The company relocated and didnt tell me where.

 

Wow this is what my cooking looks like!  Where there is smoke there is a cooked dinner! LOL 

This is too funny to be dirty – enjoy 🙂
The husband leans over and asks his wife, ‘Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago?
We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.’
Yes, she says, ‘I remember it well.’
OK,’ he says, ‘How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time’s sake?’
Oh Jim,… you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!’
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I’ve got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I’ll just keep an eye on them so there’s no trouble.
So he follows them. The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks.
Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming.
Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn’t know..
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on.
The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I’ve got to ask them what their secret is.
So, as the couple passes, he says to them,’ Excuse me, but that was something else. You must’ve had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?’
Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, ‘Fifty years ago that wasn’t an electric fence.

Have a relaxing and safe weekend!

Lucky

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