Morning Smile

Today’s morning smile is from one of my favourite sites Fun Zone (Facebook).   

Well August is starting out to be quite the crazy busy month so far.  Just a reminder to check us out on Facebook and Like us by clicking on the F in the upper right hand corner of this page.  Well  I am definitely feeling the love with all the comments, suggestion and requests.  One of the most popular requests is to write an e-book on blogging to assist my fellow bloggers who are just starting out.  I am hoping to have it ready by the end of the week.  The second most popular request is to help with websites and blogs.  Please email me at info@imlosingit.org with your requests and web/blog url.

Today I have so many smiles to share and brighten your day and they are from where else but my favourite sites Its so Stupid and Dumb-Its funny, Laugh it’s Free, Earthlite, truly Tasteless jokes, I’m jus’ saying, Maxine, Jokes, Funny, laughs and Quotes, Can U Still Hear Me?, Everyday jokes, Fun Zone, Colours of Life, English Joke, Ғасєвффк Әят and Yes I like cats (Facebook).  How can you have a bad day when you have a cup of coffee, a smile and a hug?  I hope you find something that puts a smile on your lips and your heart.

 Wow it’s bad enough when the family gives you the hairy eye for coming home late

 but when your pets greet you with this look you know you are really in trouble. LOL

Son:”Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this awesome girl!”
Father: “That’s great son. Who is she?”
Son: “It’s Sandra, the neighbor’s daughter”
Father: “Ohhh I wish you hadn’t said that. I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Sandra is actually your sister.” The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later …
Son: “Daddy, I fell in love again n she is even hotter!”
Father: “That’s great son. Who is she?”
Son: “It’s Angela, the other neighbor’s daughter.”
Father: “Ohhhh I wish you hadn’t said that.  Angela is also your sister.  ” This went on couple of times and the son was so mad, he went straight to his mother crying.
Son: “Mum I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls but I can’t date any of them because dad is their father!”
The mother hugs him affectionately and says: “My love, you can date whoever you want. Don’t listen to him He isn’t your father.

 

 

 

A young female teacher was giving her class of six year olds a quiz “behind my back I’ve got something red, round and you can eat it. what is it?” she asked.
“an apple” replied little Raymond
“no,” said the teacher ” it’s a tomato but it shows your thinking.”
“I’ve now got something round, a greenish colored you can eat it.”
“An apple,” replied little Ian
“No it’s an onion, but it shows your thinking.”
Little scruffy Johnny at the back of the class says “I’ve got something under my desk that’s an inch long, white and it has a red end.” “Dirty little boy,” said the teacher
“No it’s a match, but it shows you were thinking,” he answered… 😛

A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner.

A call came in telling them to disperse some people who were loitering.

The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner.

The rookie rolled down his window and said, “Let’s get off the corner people.”

A few glances, but no one moved, so he barked again, “Let’s get off that corner… NOW!”

Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled stares in his direction.

Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, “Well, how did I do?”

Pretty good,” chuckled the veteran cop, “especially since this is a bus stop.”

 Wow Earthlite has some of the nicest animal pictures.  If only we could learn from animals to get along. LOL

 Re-bait the line!

An elderly couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the ship watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old man overboard. They searched for days and couldn’t find him. So the captain sent the old woman back to shore with the promise that he would notify her as soon as they found something. Three weeks went by and finally the old woman got a fax from the ship. It read: “Ma’am, sorry to inform you, we found your husband dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled him up to the deck and attached to his back end was an oyster and inside the oyster was  a pearl worth $50,000….please advise.”

The old woman faxed back: “Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap.”

Wow this old doll has quite the sense of humour! LOL

This made me laugh! Good for him! … A Marine was deployed to Afghanistan. While he was there he received a letter from his girlfriend. In the letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up with him. AND, she wanted pictures of herself back. So the Marine did what any squared-away Marine would do. He went around to his buddies and collected all the unwanted photos of women he could find. He then mailed about 25 pictures of women (with clothes and without) to his girlfriend with the following note: “I don’t remember which one you are. Please remove your picture and send the rest back.”

 

 If you can see this bird you have had way too much to drink!!!!

 

 The Government is training an Elite group of squirrels to fight in war times!!!  Just kidding!!!

Cell Phone Call

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker- function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: “Hello”

WOMAN: “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”

MAN: “Yes”

WOMAN: “I’m at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It’s only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?”

MAN: “Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.

“WOMAN: “I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2007 models. I saw one I really liked.

“MAN: “How much?

“WOMAN: “$65,000.

“MAN: “OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.

“WOMAN: “Great! Oh, and one more thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They’re asking $950,000.

” MAN: “Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000.

“WOMAN: “OK. I’ll see you later! I love you!

“MAN: “Bye, I love you, too.”

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.

Then he smiles and asks: “Anyone knows whose phone this is?” … 😛

 CLEVER SON

An old farmer writes to his son in prison;

Dear son, this year i wont be able to plant potatoes coz i cant dig the field by myself, i know if you were here,  you would help me.

The son writes back; dad don’t even think of digging the field coz that’s where i buried the money i stole.

The police read the letter and the next day the whole field was dug by police looking for the money but nothing was found.

The following day the son wrote again…. Now plant your potatoes dad.. Its the best i can do from here

Have an Amazing day everyone!

Lucky

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